Spartacus Wrote:

_RemiX Wrote:I went to Vegas a month ago....you can already see where this is headed. Long story short was trashed ended up at the hard rock. Roommate and I ended up leavin with a Bitch a piece, or what we thought was a Bitch a piece. Needless to say I took home a trany. Most people would say that's the highlight of this story. It's not. When the penis came out I hit him with the hotel alarm clock. Spent a week in jail because I left my wallet somewhere in Vegas and couldnt identify myself when I got arrested for assault.

Dude, what happens in Vegas...................stays in Vegas.

...and on the record of Department of Justice.

Mr.Tea Wrote:Checking out an abandoned van in the middle of an empty Iraqi market place when a PKM on a balcony opens up with armor piercing rounds on me and one of my Soldiers.  He comically used a palm tree 1.5 ft thick for cover I used the Van.  We both had to rush a retaining 30m towards the machine gun to seek proper cover.  FML...

I was in about the same situation yesterday when I played battlefield 3.



My life is full of "fuck my life" stories, but they are mostly boring, stupid car accidents, od's, "we were drunk" stories, got booked two times without charges. Here is one of them:

Quote:When I tried chocolate with some mushrooms extract I didn't feel nothing at first, then I got home - still nothing going on. So after I watched some movie I went to bed. Around 3 AM I woke up and started smoking, I mean right in my bed, then I dropped the cigarette, started looking for it but couldn't find it, smoke was all over the place but I couldn't find that damn cigarette in my bed, I checked everything: my blanket, my pillow, sheet, pillow case, under the bed, it's fucking disappeared. So then I kept searching for it and don't remember what happened next. I woke up in the morning on the floor in my room, everything was messed up, random stuff around me on the floor. So here is the funny part of this story: I never smoked that night.

Another one:

I was on the surgery table, nurse used painkillers but didn't use enough anesthesia. I was like a bread there with wide open eyes looking at surgery tools that doctor put on my stomach while getting prepared for the operation.... fml? No, he actually noticed that my eyes were moving and I tried to say something. Then he said "oops, sorry.... just look at your pulse on that monitor". Then he asked nurse to add some more anaesthesia. That was probably the scariest shit in my life, so fuck it.
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