We are all assholes at sometimes, but you just need to realize it and accept it. And that's what you did. I don't like to call people stupid because im stupid at times, what i do is just to make that person feel better and make him/her forget about it. Good luck with your dream im aware that is not going to be a easy road, but if you want to accomplish it then go for it and try as hard as you could to reach it.